so

As you guys have probably noticed, I never write "stuff" stuff on my blog. Like narrative and real-people dialogue etc. This is probably because nobody knows about it. Yet. There is some shit on here that doesn't exist anywhere else, as well as some shit that only existed other places before i brought it here. I have some thoughts about some things, like telling the internet i'm alive, even though probably the only person who would ever read it anyway is gabby, but even she doesn't know about this yet. Mostly what has inspired me to write like i'm in a letter is the deerhunter blog because bradford cox is generally amazing and has shown me (a thing that i already knew --) that it's wonderful to hear rational insights into people's heads as well as their convoluted self-created ones. I dunno. If there's anybody out there, get at me.

someday i'll have the strength and courage to get all multimedia and expressive and shit but who knows, it could take years.

talking to nothingness rules. goodnight.

a long time ago

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like
if I never met you
and I never let myself think
that we were friends
so that we could stay together forever.
I thought it would work but then
surprises came, needing
and holding onto in
that first nervous dark.
When I saw you up there I
said yes
you said yes
but then we both said no
no no no
and it grew
that no, until
with every absent look
and touch
it said, all it could say was
I miss that itchy dark
I miss that time before
we knew who each other were,
and it said
Go away stranger
who are you,
why are you saying yes?