i identify as a tiny girl on a bicycle

i am prepubescent, i am free

i don't have a body that's easy to read

i'm not sexual and nobody should sexualize me

my interests are reading and biking and horseback riding

i like catching small things

i like looking at the stars at night

and trying to find the star my parents named for me

i am a small child

but now i have a grownup body

and now that i am aging i have to remember

always treat children the way i needed my mother to treat me

always respect, protect, defend and understand

always encourage, always be teaching

i will model safety for you

you are not me

any longer i am not that small being

but i carry her inside me

and i will honor her always

the 10 year old who never died

who still does wheelies in my chest

when i find a pair of moth wings

on a path

between the trees.

tonight i'll eat blackberries until i feel sick.

tonight i'll read alone in my room.

tonight i'll ride my bike with no hands

in honor of you.