a long time ago

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like
if I never met you
and I never let myself think
that we were friends
so that we could stay together forever.
I thought it would work but then
surprises came, needing
and holding onto in
that first nervous dark.
When I saw you up there I
said yes
you said yes
but then we both said no
no no no
and it grew
that no, until
with every absent look
and touch
it said, all it could say was
I miss that itchy dark
I miss that time before
we knew who each other were,
and it said
Go away stranger
who are you,
why are you saying yes?