Found Some Old Poems

I found some poems that I wrote about Felix, most from almost exactly a year ago. They seemed like 1 am rants at the time but upon reexamination I actually think some of them are pretty good. I'm going to post them separately. Here's the first; this is the poem that used used to be a secret:

As you stare at me
nakedly I wonder whether
I would love you
if you were a woman
and in a case of severe dramatic irony,
I often wake up
tragically next to you
from a dream of making love to a girl-

the same girl I've dreamt of
numerous times.
Once I kissed her, drunken sparked-orange
tongue lolling into her perfect Romanian mouth
on a sidewalk, and I remember how
she pulled away
upset despite months of subtle come-ons.

She is grating, turbulent,
petty
so this is not a love poem.

She haunts
me, grimly, a skinny blackhaired reminder
that I will always want something
more.




3.29.09